Current Series: A Grief Point of View
When I’m flying in an airplane, I have to have a window seat. When any turbulence hits, I glue myself to the window and can’t look away. I want to feel small and humbled. I need the reminder that I have no control of what will happen next. I am left staring, sitting, and numb. Thinking about all the people down below: The cities, the cultures, the death and life that each community experiences. With this lack of control and outward focus, I surrender to to the unknown and in turn, feel a deep peace.
This current series, “It’s a Grief Point of View” began after my sister, Julia, was killed by a drunk driver in July of 2015. As a way of coping, I immersed myself in paint and colors and my visual language when words and thoughts failed me. My grief story weaves its way into each painting as I continue to process perspective both micro and macro. both eternal and present day. Wanting control over my life and my loved ones but recognizing I actually don’t have any.
Loss and Grief have no boundaries. They are universally experienced by all cultures and all people yet they in some ways the wild frontier of emotion. You can’t prepare for when grief comes at you like a tidal wave. You never know when it’s going to bring you to your knees. But how do we live with purpose and perspective amidst it all?
At one point we will all experience every day pain and eternal peace. Eternal unknown and every day joy. Sing sweet melodies and ask big questions. How do we find collective healing and internal peace in the midst of darkness and unknown? Through my work, I continue to find ways to answer that question each day but also allow room to accept life long inevitable sadness of loss.
**Two more paintings in the works for this series**